Ionesco Lyrics
I SOLITARY ECHO {bruises and guilt}
My mind is shipwrecked
My mind is so shipwrecked
that I’m floating like a seed
in the wind with no direction
Lost, I fall down
Through the grey areas of my inner self
that seem to be filled with nothing
but rejections upon bruises and guilt
Lost, I land hard
Solitary, like a fool in his echo
There is no decoration here
and my soul stands for nothing
Lost, I grab myself together
All I grabbed is a seldom
inability to construct a future
No seed will grow of my barren earth
Lost, I stand alone
Exiled, different and disdained
Everything I have is dissolving
like the medicines I take
Lost and left for dead
Corpselike I’m staring to the ceiling
praying for help
II DRAINS OUT OF ME {endless search}
While my eyes discover a dark cloud
in my endless search for my innocence
it feels like all conciousness drains out of me
like a slow motion fall into a lift shaft
Corpselike I’m staring to the ceiling
Praying for Freeman to free me
and deliver me from guilt
He says I’m not like everyone
and yet I am like everyone from our time:
skeptical, indignant, begrudging
He sees me as a dead soul without a corpse
This sounds hard and cruel, this sounds like truth
And truth advanced to the point of being disruptive
towards social functioning and activities in my daily life
III WITHOUT THE GUILT {escaping shadows}
All I want is to live
without the guilt of giving up
All I want is to die
with some pain that proves I lived
My whole life vanishes in snippets
I’ll have to indulge to catch hope
I reach out for help and I touch nothing
but the escaping shadows
who extinguish in the light of day
IV I’LL CUT {distant distortion}
I’m sealed, I’m shut no light gets in
but the distant distortion of the setting sun
The morning sky subtle light of the fading night
The sound of a crow reverberates through the mist
That’s the place I call home
For I’m the enemy of the sun and I believe the earth is flat
Corpselike staring at the ceiling
Listening to Freeman’s words:
“Your illness is related to your overactive emotions
I will cut your depression and lift your boundaries of boredom”
Corpselike staring at the ceiling
and fading under the crests of imbalance
while I’m fading I can’t get rid of that image
V NOTHINGNESS {nothingness}
This operation is my bridge leading to the abyss
This is a shape of despair, a way of dying while accepting
My mom -cold as apathy- grips me tight
She says: “There is no other way to threaten you
since institutions are overcrowded”
I’ve got the impression that she’s building upon nothingness
VI READY {receive my death/faith}
White and wild his eyeballs glisten
His smile occult and tragic
So slavish, it makes me shiver
even more than his icepick
which will be hammered into my skull
just above my tearduct
Anesthesia, free me now
Give me my electroshocks
I’m ready to receive my faith
I’m ready to receive my death
VII TO FEEL FAINT {my reality}
I wake with this splitting headache and two black eyes
“Cured” they say
I never felt okay, but now I don’t feel whole no more
As I look in the mirror I don’t recognize the one in front of me
Sad to see that this sundown, now more than ever, is my reality
And as I come around in a vibrant glow of deception
It’s crossing my two minds that by taking my life
I’ll never have to feel faint again
VIII AS I FALL {thunder heart won’t beat no more}
My bloodless hands trembling hold what no desire passion can forget
This picture of who I was, I used to be a fighter, I don’t fight no more
Over me there swept a stream of subtle music, felt unheard as when one conjures in a dream, the distant singing of a bird
I greet you all
I faught my war
This thunder heart won’t beat no more
The splitting headache pushes me on the downward spiral
Suicide free me to overcome my depression I’ll cut my veins
Feel my last breath as I fall
IX INTO THE DARK HANDS OF THE DANCING DEVIL {noise between the ears}
- instrumental -